If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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