My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Fuck appropriateness.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
