maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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