we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
