So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I need moral support for this bender
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Randomize
