Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
