Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
