i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
