Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
