What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
