I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
