hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
