Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
how does that bad decision feel?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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