It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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