It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
