I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize