I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize