I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
