The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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