oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
