omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently you make a good broom.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Come share oat with me in your robe
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
