JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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