She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
