dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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