Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
