Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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