they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
