it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
