i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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