Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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