is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
