As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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