You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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