you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize