I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
