Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
