Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
