Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
