Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
