You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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