I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
