i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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