somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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