Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
