R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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