I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
