I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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