i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
