I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I am morally bankrupt
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
