didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
