Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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