So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sorry about my life...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
