I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
