Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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