Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
