we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
