I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
