I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
not ubering you a puppy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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